DEPRESSED CLOWN

This Is A Comedy Blog Written By Paul Frank.
Updated every day with things I think up.
Check out my column or e-mail me.

Jul 04, 2009
"I have a green car. Not one of those gay environmental shits, like the color green literally."
Jul 02, 2009
"Rape has helped Kobe’s game tremendously. One day, he’s raping a chick blind, 3 years later, he’s in the Olympics and back-to-back finals."
Jun 26, 2009

A Zit Waits Til You're 12

Jun 18, 2009
"This pornography film lacks character development, not to mention a climax. Oh, there it is."
Jun 17, 2009

Wal-Mart TV

Jun 07, 2009

"I Don't Think We've Ever Seen Him This Hungry-Looking" - The ABC Announcers, on Kobe Bryant

I don’t know, ABC announcers. This one time I saw Kobe and he was starving. He had been living in the wilderness for 2 weeks, surviving on wild berries and branches. His stomach rumbled louder than a bear. In fact, at first, I thought it was a bear, then I turned and saw, oh, no, that’s not a bear, that’s Kobe Bryant’s stomach.

The look in his face was one of pure hunger. He wanted to win that championship, bad. The Hot Dog Eating Championship. He was hungry.

Jun 04, 2009

On A Serious Note

Isn’t it weird that we still have pennies? You cannot go into any store in the US and get something for 1 penny. So if you can’t get anything with just 1 penny, you always need more than 1, why do they still have them? Why do pennies still exist?
Jun 02, 2009
"Does anyone else ever cook their Ramen and then not put the flavor packet in it, you know, just to fuck with ‘The Man’?"
Jun 01, 2009

LOL The Beatles Rock Band is rated Teen for "Mild Lyrics" and "Tobacco Reference"

How gay. Fuck you, ESRB. Everyone should listen to the Beatles, no matter how young or old they are.
labarceloneta
May 28, 2009
labarceloneta: Adventure These people aren’t cool. Look at them.

labarceloneta:

Adventure

These people aren’t cool. Look at them.

May 28, 2009

Quotes of The Day:

When I woke up today, the first thought in my head was me interacting with a (imaginary) children’s show tv audience full of kids.

Me: “Papa Paul’s not feelin’ so good, kids….”

Kids (in unison): “Why, Papa Paul?”

Me: “Papa Paul got super fucked up last night.”

And when I woke up and got up and went to take my morning piss, I lifted up the toilet lid and there was some toilet paper and smack dab in the middle a bloody tampon. I decided not to do my necessary morning piss and walked out of the bathroom. “I don’t know why there’s a bloody tampon in the toilet,” to my roommate, “and I don’t want to know why there’s a bloody tampon in the toilet.”

quisquis
May 28, 2009
soupsoup: nociva: Fox News: Firefox most popular search engine after Microsoft and Apple Fox Business: Most accurate news network after Chocolate News and SNL Weekend Update. Kinda weird that you remember Chocolate News…

soupsoup:

nociva:

Fox News: Firefox most popular search engine after Microsoft and Apple

Fox Business: Most accurate news network after Chocolate News and SNL Weekend Update.

Kinda weird that you remember Chocolate News…

May 27, 2009
"The only problem I have with the movie SPUN is that my life isn’t more like it."
May 26, 2009

I've Never Seen Anyone Sneeze In Porn

Think about it. I’ve watched countless hours of porn every day of my life and I’ve never seen anyone sneeze! Or even have a runny nose! And don’t they do a lot of coke and meth and stuff? Or just the common cold? Come on, pornstars, sneeze!
May 25, 2009
"If you don’t answer Twitter’s question “What are you doing?” whenever you do something new, are you not doing anything? Or will people think you’re dead? Or do they understand you do have a life and are doing something and that’s why you’re not updating your Twitter?"

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