DEPRESSED CLOWN

This Is A Comedy Blog Written By Paul Frank.
Updated every day with things I think up.
Check out my column or e-mail me.

Aug 20, 2008

Amy Winehouse: On Tour!

Amy Winehouse is going on tour! For more information, contact your nearest crack dealer, buy all the crack he is willing to sell you and steal any he’s not. Then call Amy Winehouse’s booking agent (and by that I mean Amy herself, since her booking agent left her), leave a message telling Amy you have crack for her, lots of crack. She will come to your city as soon as possible (that night). She will mumble and slur the words to her hit single “Rehab” in between hits from the crack pipe.

Amy Winehouse: Coming to a crackhouse or crackhome near you!

Aug 19, 2008
"She lost her vagina in a car accident."
Aug 17, 2008

Dear Black People: Stop Haunting My Dreams

Aug 13, 2008
"Is anyone else besides me secretly wishing that other teams win in Olympics events so that the USA doesn’t get bombed out of spite?"
Aug 12, 2008

A Question You'll Never Hear:

Why don’t they make dildo’s for kids?
Aug 11, 2008

Hit Me Baby One More Time

Aug 08, 2008

I Never Realized I Wanted To Kill Myself Before

Aug 05, 2008

That Bank Robber is Not Fucking Kidding

Jul 31, 2008
"Crack is proud to be the official drug of the NBA."
Jul 31, 2008
"How do you do body shots off someone in a wheelchair?"
Jul 29, 2008

Hey Kids (I Hope Kids Are Reading This, What Can I Say I Like To Corrupt)

Here are some new column articles for you to eat!

Condoms: Are They Stupid And Unnecessary?

I Must’ve Died And Gone To Hooters

Don’t Look Now, But A Homeless Man Is Trying To Kill You

Jul 29, 2008

Dear Lance Armstrong,

Jul 29, 2008

I Just Masturbated To That Ellen Degeneres American Express Commercial

Jul 28, 2008
"How come there aren’t any shows on tv about dentists?"
Jul 24, 2008
"Do people with a beastiality fetish masturbate to those nature shows where the animals have sex?"

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