DEPRESSED CLOWN

This Is A Comedy Blog Written By Paul Frank.
Updated every day with things I think up.
Check out my column or e-mail me.

Jul 23, 2008

I'm Not Divorcing Your Vagina

Jul 22, 2008
  • Me: Hey God
  • God: what up blood
  • Me: Nothin', just going to go down to the beach. Do you want to join me?
  • God: nah nigga, this nigerian prince is dying and leaving me all his money! hey do u know my bank account number?
  • Jul 21, 2008
    "If an eight-year-old goes out with a four-year-old, is the 8 y/o considered a pedophile?"
    Jul 20, 2008
    "My roommate is a serial killer and a cannibal. It’s cool, though…not really a big deal, whatever. He’s actually really productive and creative…I’d almost say brilliant and genius. He made us a dishwasher of this girl he killed, and he created an HDTV from the skin and organs of an old lady who had just been stinkin’ up our basement, dead."
    Jul 19, 2008
    "I think if I was in prison and set to get the death penalty today, I would want my last meal to be wretched and terrible. That way, I could be like, “well at least the electric chair won’t be as bad as that fish I just ate! ZING!"
    Jul 19, 2008
    "If I was forced to have gay anal sex against my will, I’d rather be pitcher than catcher. But if I was forced to play a game of baseball against my will, I’d rather be shortshop."
    Jul 18, 2008
    "Fucking another dude isn’t the gayest thing you’ve done today."
    Jul 18, 2008

    I'm Scared Of Midgets

    Jul 18, 2008
    "I hope I never become King Latifah."
    Jul 17, 2008
    "If a famous person shit in your toilet, would you not flush it?"
    Jul 17, 2008
    "Sleet is the gayest form of precipitation"
    Jul 16, 2008

    The Dumbest Idea I've Ever Thought Of? You Be The Judge.

    Just kidding, to be a judge, you need a lot of years of schooling or something.

    Anyways, today I woke up thinking “future books. Future books. They make History books, that’d be funny if they made Future books.”

    Jul 16, 2008
    "I need methamphetamine for my glaucoma."
    ~ An old person?
    Jul 16, 2008

    Thoughts: Murders, Rapes, and More

    Jul 15, 2008
    "You’re not the first prostitute I’ve killed"

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