This Is A Comedy Blog Written By Paul Frank.
Updated every day with things I think up.
Check out my column or e-mail me.
You Know You Watch Too Much Porn When…
…You see a special on pornography on CNBC, and they air a 1-second clip of a porn scene and you know the female actor and male actor by name.
(True Story)
Me: “What’s the difference between Chris Berman and Boomer Esiason?” (seriously) My Roommate: “…They’re two different people…”
“I Don’t Think We’ve Ever Seen Him This Hungry-Looking” - The ABC Announcers, on Kobe Bryant
I don’t know, ABC announcers. This one time I saw Kobe and he was starving. He had been living in the wilderness for 2 weeks, surviving on wild berries and branches. His stomach rumbled louder than a bear. In fact, at first, I thought it was a bear, then I turned and saw, oh, no, that’s not a bear, that’s Kobe Bryant’s stomach.
The look in his face was one of pure hunger. He wanted to win that championship, bad. The Hot Dog Eating Championship. He was hungry.
On A Serious Note
Isn’t it weird that we still have pennies? You cannot go into any store in the US and get something for 1 penny. So if you can’t get anything with just 1 penny, you always need more than 1, why do they still have them? Why do pennies still exist?
LOL The Beatles Rock Band is rated Teen for “Mild Lyrics” and “Tobacco Reference”
How gay. Fuck you, ESRB. Everyone should listen to the Beatles, no matter how young or old they are.
Quotes of The Day:
When I woke up today, the first thought in my head was me interacting with a (imaginary) children’s show tv audience full of kids.
Me: “Papa Paul’s not feelin’ so good, kids….”
Kids (in unison): “Why, Papa Paul?”
Me: “Papa Paul got super fucked up last night.”
And when I woke up and got up and went to take my morning piss, I lifted up the toilet lid and there was some toilet paper and smack dab in the middle a bloody tampon. I decided not to do my necessary morning piss and walked out of the bathroom. “I don’t know why there’s a bloody tampon in the toilet,” to my roommate, “and I don’t want to know why there’s a bloody tampon in the toilet.”
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