I don’t know, ABC announcers. This one time I saw Kobe and he was starving. He had been living in the wilderness for 2 weeks, surviving on wild berries and branches. His stomach rumbled louder than a bear. In fact, at first, I thought it was a bear, then I turned and saw, oh, no, that’s not a bear, that’s Kobe Bryant’s stomach.

The look in his face was one of pure hunger. He wanted to win that championship, bad. The Hot Dog Eating Championship. He was hungry.