DEPRESSED CLOWN

This Is A Comedy Blog Written By Paul Frank.
Updated every day with things I think up.
Check out my column or e-mail me.

Aug 27, 2008

Hello Children

Aug 27, 2008

OBGYN EDU

Aug 26, 2008

If I Wrote A Book Today:

It would be called “I Think God Just Touched My Penis”
Aug 24, 2008
"Can you overdose on Viagra?"
Aug 24, 2008

Ron Jeremy Motivational Speech

Aug 24, 2008
Holy shit, what happened to Katie Holmes?
Holy shit, what happened to Katie Holmes?
Aug 23, 2008

What's That One Movie?

Aug 23, 2008

Things I Regret Doing For A Klondike Bar

  • Murdering that hobo (I mean, honestly, the Klondike bar he had was probably the only food he would’ve had in days)
  • Carjacking a Klondike Bar semi truck, murdering the driver (what is it with me and murder?!!!!)
Aug 23, 2008

Things That Are Funny To Me Right Now

  • Divorcing someone because they used a really cheesy pun
  • Giving people handjobs for a bite of their Big Mac
  • Choking little children until they’re almost dead, then letting go and being like “just kidding”
  • Midgets clapping
Aug 23, 2008
"And there she was: Mother Theresa Herself, giving a guy in an alley a beej for three dollars worth of crack."
Aug 22, 2008
Also, I like how Shaq being a “heavy breather” is breaking news.
Also, I like how Shaq being a “heavy breather” is breaking news.
Aug 22, 2008

http://www.tmz.com/2008/08/22/woman-calls-shaq-a-heavy-and-a-heavy-breather/

This is a true story. I find this really funny, the thought of harassing someone by breathing really heavy on the phone makes me laugh.
Aug 22, 2008

Introducing:

Introducing the Gilbert Gottfried Alarm Clock.

For only $23.65, Gilbert Gottfried himself will come to your house everyday for whenever you set the Gilbert Gottfried alarm. And he’ll start talking. Just start talking in his voice. His obnoxious, loud voice. He’ll complain about stuff, he’ll make jokes, or maybe he’ll just read through the Bible. Either way, you can’t turn him off. There’s no Snooze button on Gilbert Gottfried. And if you can sleep through the sound of Gilbert Gottfried talking, you’re either Gilbert Gottfried’s wife or you’re dead.

Aug 22, 2008

The Olympics

Aug 21, 2008

The Everyday Olympics: Because We're All Heroes Just Kidding Not Really™

Hey America! You’re better than that FUCK Michael Phelps! Who the DICK does that FUCK think he is? I could win 12 Olympic gold medals if my name was Michael! So fuck that noise.

Introducing………The Everyday Olympics™! Giving medals to stupid prick schmucks..like YOU! Just for doing the gay shit you do everyday!

I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’ve been seeing a therapist like you told me to, to help deal with my hate and anger issues, but it hasn’t been helping.

I love you, buddy. Remember Easter 4 years ago?

Official Everyday Olympics events include:

  • Small Talk, Nervous Laughter, Awkward Eye Contact
  • Who Can Get Their Mail The Most Normal
  • Most Cell Phone Commercials Watched
  • Breathing (Oxygen)
  • Making Observations About Airlines, New Airline Security, How Fucking Bullshit Flying Is These Days, etc.
  • Masturbating To Infomercials
  • Ignoring Homeless People
  • Trying To Pretend You Want Kids So That You Can Have Sex With Your Wife
  • Fencing

theme by danny | icons by cameron | powered by tumblr

We know who we are and what we want to say.Point of Focusfarpitzs.BRAINGSJuliadotcomyour monkey calledOne more time, with feeling!JSTN"And another thing ..."Thusly:faux punk/ gentleman dudeToo Much NickSkeet On Mischashey.netpauliophonic.comPseudolectualMike Karnell's BlogLeeJake's Webbed JournalEric Lodwick0_o Optimisto Dot Com: All Zack's Favorite Finds.That Boy Needs TherapyWho Killed Tumblr?nikihello abteenMarco.orgsoxiamDid You Ever Notice?Drive-By BloggingDigital CollageJOSH'S MINDHOUSE!Paul Scheer.comWait, what.Justin Johnson's almost daily web-logTom GruberDarker MeManiacal RagePeter W KnoxSquashedBookMarkPike'schuckmoreKevin MosleycameronrShorter ExcerptslonelysandwichWhatever Happened to Kevin Sorbo?ImplodrSpecial Tinglei don't live herebjornstarDanny Libertyam.Andrew Pile...eatsleepdrawchallenged confessionswhat?Contempt Slot☼ AZspot ☼Jamie MartinIn Blog We TrustStrings of my incoherencethat's what she saidfuddmaindannyhasablogcaitoppsthis isn't happiness.Travors.comkevin.twohyMark Bean Failed to make the FF widget not whiteReally?™Life_Sample_Gogoldenfiddlr.humachinejaclynTMBLGian broylesattention doozersRicky Van Veen's GET EXCITEDJacob BijaniHello, I'm Rachel.Taylor McKnightJmarcafella, aka: Nocturnal State.Secret Enemy HideoutJake.TinyCyb.Orgpoor tasteJake And Amir Dot Com$ L E A Z E T T Ei am the fat manatee.BrignoSean Bury's JOSH'S MINDHOUSE!Ben JosephX.T.C-tumblrtopherchrisClaw Marks in the Frozen PeasThe Triumph of BullshitStream of subconsciousness...life.Things I Findhrrrthrrrbritticisms."en quotations"Nick McGlynnWilliam WilkinsonObama in '08FOTOGRAFIAplanet tamponFaggotryFred Wilson Dot VCIssTumBulMrk Nchls.Off-Topicthedeplorableword by Tom MartinChet Chat with Chetin real life.lumberLife of BKOn The Cutting Edge of YesterdayDavid's Logmade-up m3m0riesSeriously?Less is Mohrerkung fu grippeMinistry of TruthFail DogsThings I tripped over on my way to the internet.Whiter Than Your iPod.PTRBKRgondaba.comSparkling PantsamandalynferriBG Speaks to the People . . . QuicklyDaily Mehbitten tongue.obsessivecompulsiveDigital{wood}MoleskineMIAuncle moustacheYou follow???Love Puppyjoe lazaruscantwellTrue BelieverNoah Kalina. Blog.ZikedTold or KnownJared Morangarfield minus garfieldMad Thoughtsmfg.tumblrDrunker Than Satanvincent peoneDJNewStyledPBahblahblahslawblarg.Inspire me, now!Everything on the Internet is trueOats and IronnumblrFunny things Big Daddy Kane said while fishing.No, I Get ItStraight Cash Homey Dot NetTyler RiewerShawn BlogFAßCINATEDWhite Whine - A New White Person Complaint DailyLolliblogcopula*Rob HuebelFresh To Death.MiscSituationistTeam Tiger Awesome Variant Tumblr Editionobservations. by jason oliverThinkThankMy BlogKyle BraggerThe Vidar LogMaria's LinkblogI would hang myself if I could afford the ropedebauchetteO H H E L L O .I Love Pat Kiernantumblrrrrr…tumbleona.Sharing Time!tumbl(dot)Dave Seger's BlogRag TimesOvahoid in New YawkJuicy TidbitsPhilAziz is BoredNow What???Human GiantCompletely Random Crapsynchronize swatches.Patrick Cassels: Internet EnthusiastDAVID FUTERNICKElaine CarrollhotmarcusYou've Got to be Clever Doing Thisrevrbwilliamcottoncubicle 17Alex 2.0b:polar:logtumbl.usSam ReichJon Feldman Was Here.esquaredatumblr.RonenV.comThe Fred Graver BlogTHIS COLLEGE LIFEJeffRubinJeffRubin.comrandom acts of devBear.ingTumblr WeedstumblemantimUntitledTim ThoughtsHi. I'm Andy.Streeter Seidellso this is happening.Crazy Florida!Dreams & CodesWill Schneidblog.Wanna hear a (bad) joke?ncoutlanderJakke and Amir. Title goes here, brotha. Hello?Patrick MobergMuxtapeWhite People Trying To Look Serious...IridescentBlahceteraThe WizardPete & Justinnot facebookThe Menstrom CycleCultrVultr.comTumblr StaffThe Stairway to KevinSans LatinGreg's TumblelogtumblrFAILSusanna WolffDizzy up the Girl!myself talkingMike Moss Fashion TipsDavey Dance BlogCooper MorAlison And Wendydutch westThe Mighty DelawaredesaturatedShameless honestyKATOMATEplease murder me!Boundless Sensual EnjoymentsNJFILMCORE the blogwell.constructed.robotAwkward VoicemailBrooklyn Girl(no such blog)AdamsBalls.comphotography by ian jenkins :: ian3blakenelsonFalindrome.com(bee) Twixt & TweenOwlMan Does Exist!a garden of varied delightsThings Amir Has Never DoneGiddyup GiddyupJohn BakerPostcards From Yo Momma365 Days of MusicOutlandishly RandomJohn and JenThat's Your BoyfriendHeatherandSarah.comOkay or not okay?Jakob and JuliadannyhasathemeJuck FuliaEric's KoeppelLetterheadFeeble BastardAww, robotOverheard at CVHilarity in Shoes